


Assumptions about Michelle Jones: Fallout

by RedUmbrella89



Series: Who is Michelle Jones? [5]
Category: Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)
Genre: Character Study, Consequences, Everyone Needs A Hug, F/M, Michelle Jones Needs a Hug, Michelle Jones-centric, POV Michelle Jones, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Post-Endgame
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-16
Updated: 2020-02-16
Packaged: 2021-02-28 00:40:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,697
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22744939
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RedUmbrella89/pseuds/RedUmbrella89
Summary: Michelle believed she had a good grasp on life. She saw people and society for what they were – complex. The world was built on prejudice, injustice, greed, altruism, honour and sacrifice. Michelle had once considered what it would be like to view the world with rose tinted glasses but decided she wouldn’t like that. She was critical, analytical and unbiased – just the way she liked it. With this outlook Michelle felt that she had a clear view of the world and it made her feel in control.Then the Blip happened, and her confidence had shattered.
Relationships: Michelle Jones & Ned Leeds & Peter Parker, Michelle Jones & Peter Parker, Michelle Jones/Peter Parker, Ned Leeds & Peter Parker
Series: Who is Michelle Jones? [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1477616
Comments: 7
Kudos: 42





	Assumptions about Michelle Jones: Fallout

**Author's Note:**

> This concept was in my mind for ages but it has been the hardest piece to write. I'm finally posting it otherwise I will continue editing it forever! I apologise if there is any OOC-ness but I wanted to explore a little the psychological toll of disintegrating and I believe that it must have been difficult, especially for the young MCU characters. 
> 
> I would be grateful for any comments or thoughts on this chapter. Mostly though, I hope you enjoy it.

Michelle believed she had a good grasp on life. She saw people and society for what they were – complex. The world was built on prejudice, injustice, greed, altruism, honour and sacrifice. Michelle had once considered what it would be like to view the world with rose tinted glasses but decided she wouldn’t like that. She was critical, analytical and unbiased – just the way she liked it. With this outlook Michelle felt that she had a clear view of the world and it made her feel in control.

Then the Blip happened, and her confidence had shattered.

Michelle had reappeared three weeks ago. She hated that term - ‘reappeared’. It was difficult to process. According to her memory she hadn’t gone anywhere but reality told a very different story. 

It had been like passing out – her vision going dark then waking up moments later, disoriented and a little nauseous – but preceded by a moment of terror as her body disintegrated. It had happened in her bedroom which was where she reappeared. But it was no longer hers. Michelle remembered the panic at finding herself in a room completely different to how it had been moments before. She remembered the fear and confusion at seeing a stranger in her bedroom. The one saving grace had been that her mother had also vanished while at their home. Michelle would never forget the conversation that followed: the new owners explaining that half the population had disappeared for five years. It was the weirdest and most disorientating conversation of her life. In the blink of an eye Michelle lost everything she owned.

Michelle and her mum had moved in with her aunt. They were some of the lucky ones. Millions of people had reappeared, and for all the joy that it brought, having that many people come back into society at once was utter carnage. Virtually every school, town hall, library, warehouse, etc were turned into temporary shelters. It would take months for even half the people to find new homes. 

Every day the news reported more and more unrest - unprecedented homelessness, understaffed public services, a crashed economy, political power struggles, riots and violence on the streets. Michelle had kept up with the news during the first couple of weeks but eventually it became too much. She hadn’t said anything to her mum, but Michelle was not okay. She couldn't watch the footage of people disintegrating anymore. 

People died all the time. Death was a part of life and was natural but there was nothing natural about half the universe disintegrating because of some magic stones. The laws of nature had been destroyed; no one was safe anymore, not when there was the capability for humanity to dissolve into nothing. Michelle had spent days spontaneously touching her limbs, trying to convince herself that she was safe, that her existence was tangible, but it all felt like a lie. 

Michelle traced a rain drop down the window with her finger. She studied her knuckle ridges and tears on her cuticles, reminding herself again that her body was intact. Suddenly the memory of her hand turning to ash assaulted her. Michelle shut the memory down immediately and forced herself to focus on the conversation taking place in the kitchen. Her mum and aunt were talking about her aunt’s workday and Michelle strained to listen to every word they said, to fill her mind with that so nothing else had room to intrude. Taking some deep breaths Michelle pushed her fingertip into the glass to stop it shaking. 

Her mum seemed to be fine. She hadn’t shown any signs of grief besides sadness at a lost relationship. Michelle wanted to talk to her mum, but she sensed that the woman wouldn’t understand the struggle Michelle was going through and Michelle doubted that she would be able to explain how she was feeling. She could barely understand it herself. What she needed was someone who would be able to understand without her having to try and articulate everything. 

So, Michelle stayed silent. 

That night Michelle sketched dozens of images, using the hobby to occupy her mind. Eventually things would settle down, and, in the meantime, Michelle could distract herself.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

One distraction she wasn’t ready for was school but one week later that was exactly where she found herself. All the students who had been blipped were summoned back to school as soon as possible. The fact that they had to repeat the year wasn’t something Michelle was enthusiastic about but it was the least of her concerns as she slowly walked through the crowded corridors. Michelle couldn’t decide whether it was comforting or unnerving to be back at the school. Thankfully nothing had changed in regard to the building and the usual high school atmosphere – the loud din of hundreds of students talking in unison, the mild chemical smell – but as Michelle looked around she saw far more faces she didn’t recognise than ones she did. 

Bracing herself Michelle walked into homeroom. The first thing Michelle noticed was the large picture of Iron Man hanging on the wall. It didn’t seem real that he was gone. Michelle had never been one to fawn over Tony Stark – as the man or the superhero – but he was one of the most beloved icons in the world and Michelle had respected his attempts at protecting humanity – in both his Stark Industries philanthropic work and as Iron Man. His loss was devastating.

Pulling her eyes from the picture Michelle studied the students in the room. The classroom was a cacophony of emotions and Michelle had to stifle the urge to run away; she could feel her adrenaline spike. She hadn’t wanted to come to school, Michelle knew she wasn’t ready to find out who had or hadn’t been dusted but her mum hadn’t given her a choice. 

Quietly Michelle made her way to the back of the classroom. On the way Michelle noticed Flash filming himself at a desk nearby. When he saw her, he immediately turned his phone round to capture her. 

“Look who it is!” he called, sticking his head into the camera’s line of sight. Michelle reached past Flash’s head and plucked the phone from his hands. Holding it above her head she stared him down. 

“Film me again and I’ll break your phone,” she said, matter of fact.

“Ugh, fine,” Flash said, holding his hand out. Michelle gave the phone back to him and started to move past him.

“MJ,” he says. The hesitation in his voice makes Michelle pause and she waits as Flash fidgets and glances away from her. “Good to see you,” he says.

“Thanks,” Michelle responds. 

Flash doesn’t look at her again and Michelle moves on as he sits back down. She continues walking until she realises that she has reached the back of the room. She pauses. There was no plan after this.

“MJ.”

Turning Michelle sees Ned sat a little way from her in the back corner. He has a big smile on his face and hops off his stool to come over to her. From him there is no hesitation as he wraps her in a big hug. Michelle bites her lip to stifle the emotions that well up. Her relief at seeing Ned takes her by surprise since they were never close. The longest time they ever spent together was in Decathlon practices or competitions but the familiarity of him makes her giddy with relief. 

She pats him awkwardly on the back. 

“Sup, dork.”

Ned laughs and she can feel the rumble of his laugh in her own chest. He releases her, smile still on his face and Michelle believes he is genuinely happy to see her. 

“You want to sit with us?” Ned asks, gesturing behind him. 

Looking over Ned’s shoulder Michelle sees Peter. Her heart constricts forcefully in her chest at seeing him and she struggles to keep the emotions off her face. Her relief at seeing Ned is nothing compared to the feeling she has at seeing Peter. The familiar jolt in her stomach causes her lip to twitch in the closest thing to a smile she has shown in weeks. At least some things hadn’t changed; she had as big a crush on him as before. 

“Sure,” she says, casually.

Peter doesn’t look over as she and Ned head to the table. His shoulders are slumped, his forearms taking most of his weight on the tabletop. His fingers, half hidden in the sleeves of his hoodie, hold a pen that he is absently staring at and Michelle can tell his mind is miles away. Michelle slides onto the stool next to him while Ned plonks himself down on Peter’s other side. Ned taps Peter’s arm startling the boy out of his thoughts. 

“MJ’s here,” Ned says when Peter’s head snaps to look at him. 

Peter then turned to Michelle, noticing her for the first time. 

“Hey,” Peter says. He gives her a small smile, but Michelle can see it doesn’t reach his eyes and his attention wanders away from her almost immediately. She tries to ignore the stab of hurt at his reaction to seeing her, he clearly had something on his mind. She hadn’t admitted it to herself, but Michelle had been hoping that Peter would still be her age, that she would still have time to spend with him, maybe actually have the courage to be friends with him. That hope, which had bloomed at seeing him, withered.

Michelle just nodded her head in acknowledgement and leaned down to pull out her sketchbook. Her hair, which she had left loose and wild that day, thankfully covered her face and her line of sight to Peter. She felt foolish and regretted sitting next to him, so she opened a fresh page and began to sketch to distract herself.

Ten minutes later the teacher arrived. Michelle doesn’t recognise him, and it hits her like a brick. She had anticipated that there would be students she didn’t know but hadn’t considered the teachers. Suddenly she felt hot, too hot. She tries to casually remove her jacket and take deep breaths to calm herself down. It works to an extent, but Michelle can feel her resolve beginning to crack. She knew she shouldn’t have been at school today.

Then the teacher tells them all that they will be doing a moment of silence to honour the fallen heroes. He switches on a TV and brings up tributes and memorials from the globe that people have set up for Iron Man, Captain America, Black Widow. It is important, he says, to remember the sacrifices made for our loved ones to be returned to us. He then quoted the famous ‘Lest We Forget’ which Michelle felt was unnecessary.

Half-way through the video Michelle felt something grab her hand under the table. Looking down Michelle is surprised to see Peter's hand on hers. He isn't looking at her. He is clasping her hand awkwardly, his fingers gripping her palm, as if it was a lifeline. Bringing her gaze to his face Michelle realises that, in this moment, that's exactly what it is. Peter is suffering, just as they all are. Looking beyond Peter she sees Ned holding Peter’s other hand, tears glistening in his eyes. 

Michelle suddenly feels angry at the teacher and his stupid idea for them to do this. 

Scanning the classroom Michelle noted that over fifty percent of the classroom were people she didn’t recognise. Or, even more disturbing, she did recognise them but from when they were much, much younger. Which meant that all those missing students - her former peers - were now off living lives built in the blink of her eye. She saw Flash filming the empty seat next to him, saw how the hollow look in his eyes was reflected around the room. They were all lost, they were all reeling. 

The realisation overwhelmed Michelle and she felt the painful burn of tears in her throat. The world had continued, the school had continued and Michelle and Peter and Ned and all the snapped students were having to slot back into a world no longer their own. They had all lost five years. Or had they? They were still the same age, but time had moved on. Did that mean that they had lost five years or gained five years?

The enormity of it all hit Michelle like a wave - the injustice of snapped people losing everything (family, friends, homes, careers), the violence, the memory of overwhelming terror as her arms and legs disintegrated, re-appearing seconds later to a world that wasn't hers any more, a place that was the same but forever different.

Michelle swallowed hard and blinked rapidly to keep back the tears that were pooling in her eyes. Everything was threatening to overwhelm her; all the thoughts and feelings and fears that she had suppressed were betraying her and demanding to be released. 

When Peter began to remove his hand, Michelle grabbed his fingers refusing to let go. Out of the corner of her eye she saw him look at her in surprise, but she couldn't look at him. Michelle just needed him to stay. Fixing her gaze on the far wall she shook her head, willing Peter not to let go. He wriggled his fingers gently and Michelle loosened her grip. She held her breath as she waited to see if he would pull away but instead Peter slid his fingers through hers to hold her hand properly. 

Michelle swallowed again and bit her tongue, struggling with the effort the maintain her composure. If the others could smile and lie about being okay, then she could to; she would not be the one to expose the lie. Closing her eyes, she forced herself to focus on the present. She breathed deeply to regain her composure and after a few minutes she registered that something was brushing against her hand. 

Slowly, she realised that it was Peter; he was running his thumb across her knuckles. It was gentle, a soothing gesture. Opening her eyes Michelle noticed that the video was over, and the classroom was animated once again. Peter was absently reading a chemistry book while Ned chattered to him about something. If Ned noticed Peter holding her hand, he appeared to be ignoring it.

Michelle knew she should take her hand back, but she didn’t want to. Focusing on his thumb softly stroking her hand Michelle felt calmer than she had in weeks. The fear was still there that it could all disappear again, that she could disappear again but, in that moment, she felt that on some level Peter understood what she was feeling. She didn’t have to say anything, but he knew. 

When the bell rang Michelle yanked her hand back, the loud siren startling her back to reality. Stuffing her sketchbook back in her bag she stood up.

“So,” she said, giving Peter and Ned a small, tight smile. Michelle hesitated; she felt…different, like there was a new opportunity for her here. She could offer a branch, extend some form of invitation and perhaps build up a friendship that she had hidden from before. She just had to take it.

“Later,” she said, turning away. She was furious and disappointed with herself. 

“Hey, MJ,” Peter said. Michelle stopped, her heart hammering. “Do you want to have lunch with us?”

Michelle turned and narrowed her eyes at the boys. Were they serious? 

“Will you guys be talking about nerdy stuff the whole time?” she asked. 

Peter opened his mouth to speak, hesitating briefly as he considered what to say. In the end he just shrugged his shoulder and smirked. “Probably.”

Inside Michelle was thrumming with happiness but she kept that off her face. She was not ready to be so openly emotional with these guys yet.

“Sounds lame,” she said, shouldering her rucksack. “I’ll see you later.”

As she walked away Michelle heard Ned ask Peter, “So…is she joining us?”

She didn’t see but Michelle could imagine Peter’s classic shrug and she couldn’t suppress a smile as she exited the classroom. Maybe things would be okay.


End file.
